Lilian can’t write a post today, as she is working too hard (or so she claims), so I kindly agreed to write today’s post for her. I suppose I should start by introducing myself. My name is Giraffe, and I live on Lilian’s desk. I am quite small, you understand, in fact I only measure about three inches in height – extremely small for a giraffe, I’m sure you will agree. I arrived in the Library of Doom in May, delivered by Lilian’s colleague who was trying to cheer her up. I like to think that she suceeded. Who could fail to be pleased with my lovely soft coat, my cute ears and the lovely snoring noise I make when my tummy is pressed?
Anyway, I digress. Lilian has asked me to write a bit about my experiences of life in the Reader Services office at the Library of Doom and I shall try my best to do so. Life is so hectic that I don’t really know where to start, so please bear with me.
As I mentioned, I usually live on Lilian’s desk, but recently I had a little adventure when I found myself in mid air, flying (who knew giraffes could fly?) from one desk to another! I was a bit shocked by this turn of events, I must say, and I did land with rather a bump. Fear not, I am quite well, but am currently keeping out of harm’s way on a bookshelf, just in case anyone in the office decides to indulge in any more giraffe-throwing activity. I am staying with Chef, who has escaped from South Park and has shown his sweet nature by looking after me in my hour of need. To be honest, though, I am finding him rather possessive and am thinking of returning to my desk soon.
Previous to the flying incident, I went on a couple of excursions to the Helpdesk Office. First of all, I went to visit P, who was feeling a bit fed up. I did try to cheer him up, but I seemed to spend a lot of time in a tray, which wasn’t particularly exciting for me. I did get a good view of the Helpdesk Office, though, which was interesting as I had never been in there before. They do drink a lot of coffee! Very nice biscuits as well. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have written that as they don’t know that I nipped into the biscuit packet and ate one when no one was there. I shouldn’t have written that either! Where is the delete key? Erm…
Oh, dear, I can’t find it. Hopefully none of them will read this. My second excursion was also to the Helpdesk Office, but this time it was more interesting because I sat on someone’s desk. This gave me much more opportunity to interact with the Helpdesk staff, although I’m not sure that they always understood what I was trying to say. I suppose I can’t expect everyone to understand the complexities of the Giraffe language.
Alas, I must go now because I have to finish reading my book. I am currently reading Poorly Pig, by Allan Ahlberg and Eric Hill. I am enjoying Poorly Pig and I am hoping to read Bad Bear (by the same author and illustrator) next, so I really must get on.
Goodbye for now,
Giraffe
Awwww, this is so lovely. I do hope Giraffe comes back and tells us some more some day.
At the Library of Glum, we have a pink stag with glittery antlers, who lives in the Resource Management office and can be convinced to come to the pub and buy drinks. Also, three trolls and a pair of bunny slippers.
Hi Giraffe
My name is Hazel’s Eeyore and I provide an atmosphere of never-ending gloom in her office. No-one, but no-one, ever heard of Eeyore, not even a 3-inch-high plush-covered one, doing this “cheering people up” thing. On the other hand no-one would ever think of throwing me around as i have far too much diginity — flying indeed, I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous for an animal. Except that I have heard Hazel talking to Mr E — something about pink pigs flying past the window!
What’s this book called “Poorly Pig” (can’t do proper italics in a comment) about? Is it any good? What age of human would read a book like that? I’ve never tried reading a whole book on my own but Katie, who’s bedroom I used to live in until she gave me to Granny, used to read to me all the time.
It’s very confusing the humans in my life all seem to have more than one name — Mr E is also grandad, Martin and “you great lummox”, Hazel is, as you’ve probably gathered, Granny but gets called you stupid cow from time to time which I don’t think is very fair on the cow and so on. Mr E doesn’t talk to me anyway and I only see Katie about four times a year when she comes to visit.
I’d better stop now — this is supposed to be a comment not an essay (whatever one of those is — it’s a word I hear Hazel using quite a lot when she’s doing a lot of writing)
Hey, did Lilian tell you that Hazel’s going to hospital for an operation? I’m not quite sure what that means but I’ll write and tell you all about it when WE come home as I’m being allowed to go with her. What an adventure that will be!
Dear G — I’m glad Lilian has available to her such a fine stand-in at the Library of Gloom. Those who say our “stuffed” friends are only interested in staying upright and not being carried off by family pets didn’t have a G in their life. Give Lilian my love, BL
Giraffe is very happy that people liked his blog entries. He wanted to write back to the people who left him comments:
Dear Reed,
Thank you for your nice comment. I would like to write another post someday, but I will have to ask Lilian. Sometimes she gets in funny moods so I have to wait for the right moment to ask her.
Your glittery stag sounds lovely. I would like to meet him one day. I am very impressed that he goes to the pub and buys drinks. He sounds very adventureous – even more adventureous than I am! I hope the three trolls are not scary. I have heard of scary trolls before. Does anyone wear the bunny slippers?
Yours sincerely,
Giraffe
Dear Hazel’s Eeyore,
Thank you for your comment. It was nice to hear from you.
“Poorly Pig” is about a poor pig who is ill. Don’t worry, he gets better in the end. I thinks that it would appeal to a human of about two or three, or four if they were reading it themselves. I think that perhaps you should try reading. It is lots of fun, but you might have to ask a human to hold the book for you.
I don’t think that anyone should call Hazel ‘Stupid Cow’, that doesn’t sound very nice! All of those names for people sound very confusing indeed.
I have heard of these operation things before. I think they are to make people better, like Poorly Pig. I hope that Hazel is made better and that you will be able to help her by being very brave during your adventure .
Yours sincerely,
Giraffe
Dear Bloglily,
Thank you for your kind comment. I am glad that you appreciate us “stuffed” friends of this world. I am rather worried about those who are trying to avoid being carried off by family pets. Fortunately, I do not have this problem as I live in Lilian’s office where there are no pets of that nature.
Yours sincerely,
Giraffe
P.S. I almost forgot, Lilian asked me to say that she sends her love.
Dear Mr Giraffe,
I apologise for throwing you across the office, but I recall that S was being particularly rude or possibly quite vulgar, and it was necessary as the customary paper clips were not working and Lilian would not allow me to throw my scissors at her (S, that is, not Lilian).
I hope Owl is well, and that he isn’t upset that you didn’t mention him. I will be back at work tomorrow, but will try not to throw you.
Singing Librarian
Dear Singing Librarian,
Please don’t worry about throwing me across the office. It was an interesting new experience for me, if a bit surprising at the time. I am sure Lilian would not have allowed you to throw me across the room had it not been completely necessary to stop S from being vulgar.
Owl is very well. However, he was feeling quite shy the other day, and didn’t want me to mention him in my post. He says that he is glad you are back at work now, as he has missed sitting on your desk, although Lilian has looked after him quite well in your absence.
Giraffe
[...] blogs, as always, and it was encouraging to receive comments on some of the posts I wrote. Giraffe was very pleased by the positive response he [...]
[...] Giraffe, sometime contributor to this blog, snores. I thought that he was the only snoring giraffe in existence, but apparently I was wrong! I found an article which talks about giraffes snoring as well as making other kinds of noises, including mooing, coughing and even “flute-like sounds or whistles”. Obviously they are more musical than I thought. Some of the links from this article no longer work, but this piece about giraffes from the Wellington Zoo website confirms that they do make various different noises. [...]