The thump-thump…

…as Jack Sparrow  would call it. I call it my heart, and it is thumping. Not for any particular reason, that’s just its new way of beating. It used to shh, now it thumps. This is a good thing, because hearts are not supposed to shh. However, my heart seems to be making up for its twenty-odd years of shh-ing and is thumping most mightily and, more to the point, noisily. I can hear it all the time. People sitting vaguely near me can hear it, too, apparently! I was at a church meeting last week and the lady sitting next to me could hear my heart beating during the prayers. My parents, not sitting very near me in the lounge, could hear it the other night.

This may sound strange, but I’m finding this new loud heartbeat a bit disconcerting. I know it’s good that it’s beating so strongly, but I also know that it’s not normal to hear your own heartbeat all the time or for other peope to be able to hear it, except perhaps if one is in a particularly anxious or excited state. Also, me being me, I keep listening to it to check that it’s alright and not beating strangely or out of rhythm. I mentioned my concerns to the cardiac liaison nurse, and she assured me that it’s normal to have be able to hear your own heartbeat after having an operation like the one I had. To put my mind at rest she suggested having an ECG, which came back fine, and a 24-hour ECG (which I’ve also had before) just to make sure! I’m sure I’ll get used to it in time, and of course I am glad that my heart’s beating so strongly, it’s just rather odd and disturbing sometimes, particularly when I’m trying to get to sleep!

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Author: Lilian

Librarian who likes music, cataloguing, theology, gardening, crochet, ampersands, taking photos, baking & tea. Has CHD & pacemaker.

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