The main items of news for this update are (a) that we have a provisional date for the birth (by C-section) of BabyMouse and (b) that I definitely have gestational diabetes (GD).
The first item is good news; I’m glad we have a date to ‘work towards’, although it is a bit later than I hoped it would be, as it’s nearer to 38 than 37 weeks. However, I’m going to discuss my concerns about that when we next see the consultant. We saw her yesterday, but it was one of those moments when I thought – ‘perhaps I should mention this’ and then didn’t, and then regretted not doing so! Having the baby slightly nearer to 38 weeks is better in terms of the gestational diabetes, but possibly not so good in terms of the obstetric cholestasis (OC). As I’ve already had steroids to help BM’s lungs develop I’m wondering if we should try for a slightly earlier date, but I didn’t say this in our meeting yesterday. I suppose I assumed the consultant would have mentioned it if necessary, but then I realised that no one had written about the steroids in my London hospital notes (it’s in the ones from the local hospital) so she may have forgotten about it – the perils of being looked after in two different places! On which point, the consultant said me being treated at two hospitals is getting a bit too confusing (which is true) so it would be better if I also have my liver function tests done in London, then everything will be on the same notes, which sounds like a good plan to me! I will mention about the steroids at our next appointment.
Item (b) is obviously not so good. I could really have done without having GD on top of everything else! I will have to adjust my diet and monitor my blood sugar levels at regular intervals throughout the day, but we don’t know exactly what this will entail until we go to the GD clinic next Tuesday. I’ve already started to alter my diet a bit by not eating cakes, sweets, chocolate, etc., and reducing the proportion of carbohydrates to other foodstuffs. I would just like to say that I don’t think we usually eat particularly unhealthily – GD is caused by changes in hormones during pregnancy rather than a ‘bad’ diet, although you are more likely to develop GD if you’re overweight (which I’m not). Apparently it also quite often accompanies OC.
In other news, we had another growth scan yesterday and BM has grown – hooray! Although she is still small, she is at least all on the charts now, so that was reassuring. We have another scan booked for 2 weeks’ time.
Despite having a date for the birth, I’m still feeling rather rubbish and anxious about everything. Just under five weeks seems like a long time, even though it’s really not. I just want BM to be alright, and I don’t feel like she’s safe at the moment – I feel like I’m a sort of broken incubator – and the worst thing is that there’s not very much I can do about it, especially in terms of the OC. Mr C is doing lots of organising (he has made many lists!) and moving stuff around in the house, and we’re going shopping for baby things with my mum on Friday, but I don’t feel like doing any of this. I want BM to be here and be well, and then I can think about everything else – which is obviously not very practical because we need some things ready before she arrives! Anyway, I’m going shopping on Friday so that’s that. It doesn’t help that I’m not a fan of shopping at the best of times! Could be an interesting day.
My midwife was a bit worried about my emotional state, so she put me in touch with a midwife who specialises in mental health and I went to see her on Monday, which was helpful. It was good to express some of my feelings (inarticulately as ever) and she had some good practical suggestions about how to cope. Mainly, it was just nice to be able to tell someone other than poor Mr C (and you, poor readers) about how I’m feeling. I must say that all the medical professionals (bar two who I don’t have to see again) that I’ve dealt with since I’ve been pregnant have been lovely, competent and helpful, and have made us (yet again) mightily thankful for the NHS.