I started taking beta blockers on Monday. This is the second lot of medication I have to take to try and improve my heart function (I’m already taking Candesartan). (I was started on Ramipril but it gave me a cough so it was switched to Candesartan instead).
I don’t know why, but having to start the beta blockers has made me a bit upset, for want of a better word. It’s partly because I’m worried about the possible side effects, but I think mainly it’s just because having to take another medicine is an additional reminder of my heart condition…which I think about all the time at the moment anyway! It seems strange to think now that I spent a large part of my earlier life not really thinking about it at all – I suppose I was young and any interventions that may have been mentioned seemed way off in the future, and then I started feeling more unwell in 2007-8, had the surgery, and my heart became a big feature of my life again.
I’m also, of course, worried that the medications won’t work and my heart will get worse and about what could happen then. But worrying about it definitely won’t help! I keep waking up at 3.30 am at the moment. I think this is because B used to wake up at this time most nights, but now she’s stopped doing that (for now) and I’m still waking up! It takes me an hour to get back to sleep, which probably isn’t helping my energy levels. I am tired, but I don’t know if this is due to my heart, lack of sleep, looking after an active almost-toddler or all of these things plus commuting to work! I suspect all of the above factors are contributing, oh, and also, one of the possible side effects of the beta blockers is exhaustion! Ha ha. I’m looking forward to a couple of days ‘off” this weekend when Mr C and I go to a wedding and leave B with grandma (the wedding is a child-free one).