Things I talk about when I talk about anger

I am an angry person.

My anger is like a volcano: there are a lot of things I’m angry about and they are mainly under the surface, but sometimes something triggers off the volcano and it explodes, often disproportionately to what the trigger actually was, because I’m not really angry about the triggers, I’m angry about other, bigger, things (hence the over reaction). I have decided this has got to stop, because it is anti-social, inappropriate and could lead to injury to people or things. Also, I am just fed up with being angry, and with feeling bad (or even angry!) about about being angry.

I went to see a counsellor last week. She said it’s OK to be angry about bad things that have happened or good things that have been taken away that (it turns out) I’m grieving for. I said OK, but how can I deal with the anger without being like a volcano? She said, I think you need to feel like your anger has been heard, so how could you make that happen? Writing? I suggested. How about talking about it? she said. How about both?



Author: Lilian

Librarian who likes music, cataloguing, theology, gardening, crochet, ampersands, taking photos, baking & tea. Has CHD & pacemaker.

5 thoughts on “Things I talk about when I talk about anger”

  1. I don’t think you need to worry about being an angry person. Some people just have a naturally passionate temperament and often they are the most interesting, productive ones. But it is important to control your anger to make sure you don’t upset others.

    I think writing it down, not necessarily on your blog, is useful. Also maybe don’t watch television programmes/read newspapers that wind you up, watch programmes like Countryfile 🙂

  2. I’ve been mulling over this post for a few days and wonder whether you have thought of going on an anger management course. I found it very useful to learn how to channel my anger into ways other than being a volcano.
    And realising that no matter what damage I do to others by being angry I actually damage myself and my relationships more.
    Love and gentle hugs

  3. I’m better than I have been for some time — thanks to a tweaking of the antidepressant medication. I’ve also been trying to recognise the situations that are likely to trigger an angry/frightened response and avoid them.
    Finally I managed to stop taking any codeine about three months after my hip replacement operation which is wonderful. My medical notes are now showing “allergic to codeine” which isn’t strictly true but the best way to stop anyone giving some without my being aware.

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